physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So squirting runs in the family.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
