Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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