wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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