While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
