I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
