Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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