I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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