I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
