I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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