Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Randomize