oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
