she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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