No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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