I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
