Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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