is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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