If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
