So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
