FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
