Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
