chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
