Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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