You just made me feel so damn special
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
