You're completely useless in the revolution.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
