i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
