Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
