So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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