How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
