I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
