all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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