I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He felt like a one man threesome
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
