I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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