This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
