Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
