If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The power of my boobs compel you
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize