please come you make the beer taste better
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Pants are for mortals
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
