ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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