sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
