He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
