Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
