Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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