careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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