Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
