So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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