He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
