i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
