so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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