Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
