do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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