i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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