He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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