Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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