i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
