If that was your dad, he is hot
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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