I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
