Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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