I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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