I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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