More tranny stories later!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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