I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
