marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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