the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
