I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
