I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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